4 posts tagged “pets”

Knowing what you (do) want...

Jun 12, 2008
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So, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I used to train my dog. I used positive reinforcement, for the most part, and some negative punishment (taking away something rewarding, e.g. stepping away from her or turning if she jumped up on me for attention). During that time, one of the things I learned was that when you are trying to work with a new dog (or cat, or bird, or child, etc.) there are hundreds (maybe more!) of things you do NOT want the puppy to be doing. Ask any new owner and you'll hear a string of DO NOT WANT:

"I don't want the puppy to pee in the house"

"I don't want the puppy to jump on guests"

"I don't want the puppy to chew my furniture"

"I don't want the puppy to bark"

"I don't want the puppy to pick up my shoes and carry them around"

"I don't want the puppy to beg in the kitchen"

and so on.

The trouble with focusing on what you "don't want" is that it doesn't help you develop the behaviors or reach the goals that you DO want. And sometimes you're not even sure what you DO want the puppy to be doing when you're so caught up in everything that is going wrong. You fail to recognize and reward any of the alternate behaviors that the puppy is offering as you simply continue identifying more of what you don't want.

In training Willow, I learned to shift my focus to what I *wanted* my puppy to be doing at any given moment. Once you have a clear picture of what you DO want in your mind, getting there is often far more simple than you ever imagined. Prior to that moment, all you have is a sea of confusion, wherein there are a lot of behaviors the pup is systematically trying out and adding to the DO NOT WANT! list. Until you can get clear on what you DO want, that sea of confusion grows ever-wider, or in some cases, the puppy shuts down and stops trying to do anything at all.

Now, that revelation is so simplistic, isn't it? So, obviously this post isn't about my dog. I know so many of the things that I DO NOT WANT. I have been putting so much emotional energy into fighting anxiety stemming from what I don't want, that I've just now come to the realization that I haven't actually stopped to clarify exactly what it is that I DO want. Oddly enough, just as many new pet owners and parents have a difficult time articulating what behaviors they'd like to see when they first start to grasp the concept, I am amazed at how complicated the answer to that one simple question has become when it is reformulated to remove all of the negatives.

Kitten Antics :)

Dec 14, 2007
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So we got the new kitten last night. I didn't realize we'd get to bring her home right away! She is adjusting really well to the house. Peyton held her and decided to name her Twilight. :)

Then we set her up inside of an ex-pen with her litter box, a scratching pad, a little post with a fluffy ball on a spring and her food and water bowl. Peyton climbed inside with her and we watched the kitten discover the litter box, go to town on the scratching pad, and then play with the little ball at the top of her post. It was adorable! She also quickly discovered that she can climb the ex-pen.

The kids headed off to daddy's and Peyton was reluctant to leave, but she'll be here again tomorrow for her birthday party so she'll get to introduce Twilight to all of her friends. I'm sure j will take some really great pictures and I'll see if he can get copies to me so I can post some here.

Last night after the kids headed out, the kitten took about ten minutes before she climbed the ex-pen, leapt to the couch, and started exploring the main floor of the house. She found the Christmas Tree (ohhhh boy, shiny objects!) and got the kitten-zoomies, running all over the place and climbing behind and under and on top of furniture. Then she eventually settled down on the couch in my lap and napped for a few hours while we watched TV. I had her sleep up in the bathroom with her food and litter box, and this morning she has had the run of the main floor. Willow keeps trying to engage the kitten in some sort of 'play' and while the kitten is not at all afraid of Willow, she's also not at all interested in playing with a gigantic orange retrieving dummy that it twice as big as she is, lol! :)

Possible New Addition! :)

Dec 12, 2007
5 comments

Purr :)

So we looked at a few kittens but this one may be coming home to join us soon. :) She is pretty feisty (which is good since we have a playful lab who may need to be put in her place once or twice!) and she's just as cute as can be. She also never stopped purring the whole time I was holding her, and the kids were loving on her a lot.

We put in the application today, and I have an interview tomorrow evening at 6pm. Our vet reminded us Willow is overdue for her Rabies vaccine (ack!), so I'm getting that up to date at 9am tomorrow.

I'm not sure when she'd be coming home (it could be over the weekend while the kids are with daddy, but Peyton will be here on Saturday for her party, so that would work out nicely anyway!)

I forgot that kittens like to climb and scratch. Ohhhhboy! Have to find a good scratching post ASAP to avoid severe furniture damage.

Wish us luck!

Feline Friend

Dec 12, 2007
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So Peyton's 13th birthday is fast approaching, and she has been asking for a kitten for a few years now. We already have an almost-two-year-old yellow lab, Willow, at home, but she is primarily my dog. Last year we euthanized our 13 year-old black lab, Lexie when we saw that she was going downhill from the effects of old-age and a mast cell tumor that had begun causing her health issues a year or so before, so my children have also experienced the life-cycle of a family pet. I'm pretty excited about helping Peyton choose the first critter that will really be hers.

I'm planning to take the kids to visit the local animal shelter this afternoon to see what they have available for adoption, maybe dropping off an application if she finds a kitten she would like to make part of our family. I believe Peyton is old enough to take responsibility for raising and caring for a pet, and I know the boys and I will get a lot of joy from a new addition to the household, too. Peyton has been very helpful with our dogs over the years, and she has always had a fondness for felines- spending hours petting and holding her friends' kittens and cats over the years. I'm sure this cat will be spoiled rotten ;)

Knowing what you (do) want...

Kitten Antics :)

Possible New Addition! :)

Feline Friend

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